Posting poetry on my blog is something I’ve wanted to do for a while now, but not something that comes easy to me. In fact I started this draft saved as “Poetry?” eight months ago, according to WordPress, and it’s been blank since then. I’ve always had a tough time sharing my writing with others even if they were the people closest to me, and sometimes even more so then.
I didn’t actually get into poetry until a class in college. At the time I was an English major with a Creative Writing minor (however, I eventually graduated with a degree in Public Relations after a series of……events). One of the courses we had to take was Intro to Creative Writing, which combined narrative writing and poetry writing. Before then I had never been super into poetry. I read a Shel Silverstein book here and there growing up and once on a middle school field trip, with a very long bus ride, we all passed around Ellen Hopkins’ book, Crank. Other than that I didn’t have a lot of exposure to anything poetry outside of English class and the “classics.” I think I liked the idea of poetry and had been long obsessed with Edgar Allen Poe’s “Annabell Lee,” but had never really dabbled myself.
The first time I fell in love with poetry was in that Intro to Creative Writing class. I was exposed to new poetry and the professor taught us about the different uses of spacing visually and how we didn’t have to follow all of those strict grammar rules if we didn’t want to because…. free verse. Sure, there can be rules and guidelines and styles of writing poetry, but it can also be incredibly absurd in the best possible way. I found that poetry, to me, fell on paper much the way thoughts appeared in my brain. Thus, writing poetry myself gave me a sense of calm and clarity when my brain was at it’s noisiest.
Which brings me around full circle to the point of this post and what drove me to it. I had “one of those days” at work, and my brain was screaming and I just felt noise. That probably doesn’t make sense to everyone, but for those of you who know what I mean I’m sure also know how overwhelming and frustrating it can feel. On my drive home it was raining, finally, after a rather long dry spell involving a few wildfires. The rain was so calming and I knew I couldn’t go sit inside when I got home. I knew I needed a night to just unplug with the rain. As soon as I got home I took my dog out on the porch with me and started to write. It was such a calming exercise and something I should really do more. I might have been a little out of practice but it still helped me unwind.
Now before I talk myself out of posting this I’m just going to hit publish and leave. I’m not super confident or happy with it, but it is what it is. A first draft. An entry back into poetry.